假如說話有藝術(shù),聽話當(dāng)然也有藝術(shù)。說話是創(chuàng)造,聽話是批評。說話目的在表現(xiàn),聽話目的在了解與欣賞。不會說話的人往往會聽說話,正好比古今多少詩人文人所鄙薄的批評家——自己不能創(chuàng)作,或者創(chuàng)作失敗,便搖身一變而為批評大師,恰像倒運(yùn)的竊賊,改行做了捕快。英國十八世紀(jì)小詩人顯斯頓(Shenstone)說:“失敗的詩人往往成為慍怒的批評家,正如劣酒能變好醋。”可是這里既無嚴(yán)肅的批判,又非尖刻的攻擊,只求了解與欣賞。若要比批評,只算浪漫派印象派的批評。
If speaking is an art, so is listening. Whereas to speak is to create, to listen is to criticize. The purpose of speaking is to express; the purpose of listening to understand and appreciate. A person unable to speak well often can listen well, just like critics – whom writers have despised from the ancient times to the present – who cannot write or fail to write literary works, transform themselves into masters of criticism. This is similar to an unlucky thief who turns into a policeman. William Shenstone, an 18th century minor English poet, says, "A poet that fails in writing becomes often a morose critic; the weak an insipid white wine makes at length excellent lampooning; instead it sets out to understand and appreciate. If compared to criticism, listening at most can be regarded as a kind of criticism that is romantic and impressionistic.
聽話包括三步:聽、了解與欣賞。聽話不像閱讀能自由選擇。話不投機(jī),不能把對方兩片嘴唇當(dāng)作書面一般拍的合上,把書推開了事。我們可以“聽而不聞”,效法對付囂張的厭物的辦法:“裝上排門,一無表示”,自己出神也好,入定也好。不過這辦法有不便處,譬如搬是弄非的人,便可以根據(jù)“不否認(rèn)便是默認(rèn)”的原則,把排門后面的弱者加以利用?;蛘摺安宦牪宦劇备桩?dāng)些。從前有一位教士訓(xùn)兒子為人之道:“當(dāng)了客人,不可以哼歌曲,不要彈指頭,不要腳尖拍地——這種行為表示不在意?!钡沁@種行為正不妨偶一借用,于是出其不意,把說話轉(zhuǎn)換一個(gè)方向。當(dāng)然,聽話而要逞自己的脾氣,又要不得罪人,需要很高的藝術(shù)??墒俏覀?nèi)缫炎约耗ト嗟煤>d一般,能盡量收受,就需要更高的修養(yǎng)。因?yàn)槁犜挼臅r(shí)候,咱們的自我往往像接在盒里的彈簧人兒(Jack in thebox),忽然會“哇”的探出頭來叫一聲“我受不了你”。要把它制服,只怕千錘百煉也是徒然。除非聽話的目的不為了解與欣賞,而另有作用。
Listening consists of three steps: give ear, understand, and appreciate. Unlike reading, listening has no free choice. Even though you don't like to listen, you cannot shut the speaker's mouth as you do a book and put it aside. We may "listen without bearing," which imitates the method of dealing with the aggressive bores: "Wear a mask and remain expressionless," whether you are absent-minded or engrossed. But this method has its disadvantage. If the speaker is a troublemaker, he can act according to the principle of "the absence of denial is acquiescence" and take advantage of the weak listener behind the mask. By comparison, "neither listening nor hearing" may be more appropriate. A priest once taught his son etiquette, saying, "When in front of a guest, you don't hum, or flip your fingers, or tap on the floor with your toes. This kind of act shows you are not paying attention." However, this kind of act can be used once in a while, to catch the speaker unawares and switch the topic in another direction. Indeed, when listening, it needs a lot of art for you to display your disaffection and at the same time not to offend the speaker. But it needs an even higher degree of cultivation to temper ourselves into a spouse, soft and capable of absorbing to our full. This is because when listening, one's self, like a Jack-in-the-Box may suddenly pop out and shout, "Hey, I can't stand you." Probably, the self will never be contained, however hard we temper it, unless comprehension and appreciation cease to be the end of listening, which may serve another function.
十九世紀(jì)英國詩人臺勒爵士(Sir Henry Taylor)也是一位行政能員,他在談成功秘訣的“政治家”(The Statesman)一書中說:“不論'賽人’(Siren)的歌聲多么悅耳,總不如傾聽的耳朵更能取悅'賽人’的心魂。”成功而得意的人大概早就發(fā)現(xiàn)了這個(gè)訣竅。并且還有許多“賽人”喜歡自居童話中的好女孩,一開口便有珍珠寶石紛紛亂滾。傾聽的耳朵來不及接受,得雙手高擎起盤子來收取——珍重地把文字的珠璣鑲嵌在筆記本里,那么“好女孩”一定還有更大的施與這種人的話并不必認(rèn)真聽,不聽更好,只消凝神傾耳;也不需了解,只需擺出一副欣悅欽服的神態(tài),便很足夠。假如已經(jīng)聽見、了解,而生怕透露心中真情,不妨裝出一副笨木如豬的表情,“賽人”的心魂也不會過于苛求。
The 19th century English poet Sir Henry Taylor, who was also an able official, speaks about the secret of success in his Statesman, "No Siren did even so charm the ear of the listener, as the listening ear has charmed the soul of the Siren." Perhaps some successful people have discovered this trick long ago. And what is more, there are many "sirens" who like to pose as the good little girl in the fairy tale; whenever their mouths open, pearls and precious stones roll out. They overflow the ears so with both hands the listener raises a plate to collect them, carefully setting the verbal treasures I a notebook, in the hope that "the good little girl" will surely offer something more substantial. It is unnecessary to take the words of these people seriously, better not to listen at all; just looking attentive will do. Nor is it necessary to understand them, suffice to put on a complaint, admiring look. If unfortunately it is advisable to present a dumb look, the "Siren's" may not be too severe on you.
聽人說話,最好效陶淵明讀書,不求甚解。若要細(xì)加注釋,未免瑣細(xì)。不過,不求甚解,總該懂得大意。如果自己未得真諦,反一筆抹煞,認(rèn)為一切說話都是吹牛拍馬撒謊造謠,那就忘卻了說話根本是藝術(shù),并非柴米油鹽類的日用必需品。責(zé)怪人家說話不真實(shí),等于責(zé)怪一篇小說不是構(gòu)自事實(shí),一幅圖畫不如照相準(zhǔn)確。說話之用譬如衣服,一方面遮掩身體,一方面襯托顯露身上某幾個(gè)部分。我們絕不譴責(zé)衣服掩飾真情,歪曲事實(shí)。假如赤條條一絲不掛,反惹人駭怪了。難道了個(gè)人的自我比一個(gè)人的身體更多自然美?
At best, the listener should, after the manner of the poet Tao Qian in reading, refrain from probing too closely. It is too trifling to fill in exhaustive notes. But on the other hand, you should catch the general drift. If you yourself, having missed the point, go on to disclaim that which has been said as bragging, flattering, lying, and slandering, then you have forgotten that in essence speaking is an art, not daily necessities such as rice, oil, salt and firewood. To blame the speaker for not speaking truthfully is similar to condemning a novel for being not-factual or a painting for not being as accurate as a photograph. Speaking is like wearing clothes, which on one hand covers the body, and on the other reveals parts of the body. None of us would condemn clothes for cloaking the truth or distorting the facts. On the contrary, we would be shocked if someone wears nothing. Would anyone go so far as to say that one's self is more beautiful than one's physical being and deserves more exposure?
誰都知道藝術(shù)品的真實(shí)并不指符合實(shí)事。亞利斯多德早說過:詩的真實(shí)不是史實(shí)。大概天生詩人比歷史家多。(詩人,我依照希臘字原義,指創(chuàng)造者。)而最普遍的創(chuàng)造是說話。夫子“述而不作”,又何嘗述而不作!不過我們糠戲聽故事或賞鑒其他藝術(shù)品,只求“詩的真實(shí)”(Poetic truth)。雖然明知是假,甘愿信以為真。珂立支(Coleridge)所謂:“姑妄聽之”(Willing suspense of disbelief)。聽話的時(shí)候恰恰相反:“詩的真實(shí)”不能滿足我們,我們渴要知道的是事實(shí)。這種心清,恰和珂立支所說的相反,可叫做“寧可不信”(Un willing suspense of belief)。同時(shí)我們總借用亞利斯多德“必然與可能”(The inevitable and Probable)的原則來推定事實(shí)真相。舉幾個(gè)簡單的例。假如一位女士嘆恨著說:“唉,我這一頭頭發(fā)真麻煩,恨不得天生是禿子。”誰信以為真呢!依照“可能與必然”,推知她一定自知有一頭好頭發(fā)。假如有人說:“某人拉我?guī)退?,某機(jī)關(guān)又不肯放,真叫人為難?!彼蟾耪谙蚰橙算@營,而某機(jī)關(guān)的位置在動搖,可能他鉆營尚未成功,認(rèn)真在為難。假如某要人代表他負(fù)責(zé)的機(jī)關(guān)當(dāng)眾辟謠,我們依照“必然與可能”的原則,恍然道:“哦!看來確有其事!”假如一個(gè)人過火的大吹大擂,他必定是對自己有所不足,很可能他把自己也哄騙在內(nèi),自己說過幾遍的話,便信以為真。假如一個(gè)人當(dāng)面稱諛,那更需違反心愿,寧可不信。他當(dāng)然在盡交際的責(zé)任,說對方期待的話。很可能他看透了你意中的自己。假如一個(gè)人背后太熱心的稱贊一個(gè)無足稱贊的人,可能是最精巧的餡媚,準(zhǔn)備拐幾個(gè)彎再送達(dá)那位被贊的人,比面諛更入耳洽心;也可能是上文那位教士訓(xùn)兒子對付冤家的好辦法——過火的稱贊,能激起人家反感;也可能是借吹捧這人,來貶低那人。
Everyone knows that artistic truth is not identical with factual truth. Aristotle said long ago: Poetic truth is not historic truth. Presumably more poets have been born than historians. By "poet", I refer to the original Greek meaning, "maker." And the most ubiquitous act of making is speaking. Confucius insisted he "relate but not add anything," but who dares to argue that the saint related without adding anything! When we watch a play, or listen to a story, or appreciate other works of art, all we are looking for is "poetic truth"; though we know it is false, we are willing to believe it is true. This is what Coleridege calls "willing suspense of disbelief." In the case of listening, on the contrary, "poetic truth" cannot satisfy us and we want to know the facts. This kind of psychology, just oppose to what Coleridge says, may be called "unwilling suspense of belief." At the same time, when listening, we cannot help relying on Aristotle's principle of "the inevitable and the probable" to deduce the facts. Let me give you a few simples. If a lady sighs and says "Ah, my hair is such a nuisance. If only I were born hairless," who would believe her! According to the principle of "the probable and the inevitable," we may infer that she has abundant hair. If someone says, "That man wants me to join, but my office will not release me. It's really hard," perhaps he is trying to worm his way into that man's favor, and that his position in the office is shaky. Or perhaps he has yet to court the favor of that man, in which case he is truly in a predicament. Again, if a VIP formally and publicly denies a rumor, then in accordance with the principle of "the inevitable and the probable" we may say with safety that "Ha! It must be true!" If someone boasts excessively, we may deduce that he is unsure of himself and trying to delude himself as well; after several repetitions he will ultimately convince himself. If someone flatters you to your face, you ought to restrain yourself and not believe him. Apparently, he sees through you and is just saying what you expected. If someone extols a person behind his back, though the latter is not praiseworthy, this might be the cleverest way of fawning, designed to be delivered to that person through a few turns, which will be more pleasing than flattering to one's face. Or this might be what the priest, the same one as mentioned earlier, taught his son – an effective way of coping with an enemy – excessive praise can kindle the enemy's aversion and the adulation of one person might serve to downplay another.
聽話而如此逐句細(xì)解,真要做到“水至清則無魚”了。我們很不必過分精明;雖然人人說話,能說話的人和其他藝術(shù)家一般罕有。辭令巧妙,只使我們欽慕“作者”的藝術(shù),而拙劣的言詞,卻使我們喜愛了“作者”自己。
If we listen too carefully – dissecting every sentence, weighing every word, we will reach that extreme condition of "water absolutely pure where no fish could survive." So we shouldn't be over alert. Everyone speaks, but those who can speak are few, just as other kinds of artists are likewise few. Clever works, however, make us admire only the speaker's art, while clumsy works make us like the speaker as a person.
說話的藝術(shù)愈高,愈增強(qiáng)我們的“寧可不信”,使我們懷疑,甚至恐懼。笨拙的話,像亞當(dāng)夏娃遮掩下身的幾片樹葉,只表示他們的自慚形穢,愿在天使面前掩飾丑陋。譬如小孩子的虛偽,哄大人給東西吃,假意問一聲“這是什么?可以吃么?”使人失笑,卻也得人愛憐。譬如逢到蛤蟆般渺小的人,把自己吹得牛一般大,我們不免同情憐憫,希望他天生就有牛一般大,免得他如此費(fèi)力。逢到笨拙的餡媚,至少可以知道,他在表示要好。老實(shí)的罵人,往往只為表示自己如何賢德,并無多少惡意。一個(gè)人行為高尚,品性偉大,能使人敬慕,而他的弱點(diǎn)偏得人愛。乖巧的人曾說:“你若要得人愛,少顯露你的美德,多顯露你的過失?!庇终f:“人情從不原諒一個(gè)無需原諒的人?!睉{這點(diǎn)人情來體會聽說話時(shí)的心理,尤為合適。我們欽佩羨慕巧妙的言辭,而言詞笨拙的人,卻獲得我們的同情和喜愛。大概說話究竟是凡人的藝術(shù),而說話的人是上帝的創(chuàng)造。
The more accomplished the art of speaking is, the more we are inclined to the "unwilling suspense of belief," and we may even experience fear. Clumsy words are like Adam and Eve's covering their private parts with leaves; it only expresses their sense of shame and their desire to conceal their ugliness in the presence of the angels. It is also similar to a child's trickery: enticing grown-ups into offering goodies, the child asks roguishly, "What's this? Is it eatable?" it makes us laugh and endears the child to us. When a toad-sized man pumps himself up as large as an ox, we cannot but feel pity for him and wish he were born the size of an ox, to spare him all this effort. If we come across a clumsy flatterer, at least we know he means well. When a man honestly gives you a piece of his mind, he actually reveals his virtues, there is no malice. One who does noble deeds and is high-minded certainly commands respect, but people are fond of him rather for his weaknesses. A smart person once said, "If you want to be loved, show your faults more than your virtues." The same person also said, "People never forgive one who doesn't need to be forgiven." Thus may the psychology of listening be fathomed. We respect and admire clever words, but it is the person with clumsy words who have our sympathy and affection. In brief, to speak is but human, but a man who speaks is a divine creation.
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